Like Marble come to life
by TheIllustriousMadamRed
Summary: Never show the damage. Those are the rules. But there are days when she feels weak. When the darkness seems to vast to withstand on her own. (Slight Spoilers for the Angels take Manhattan, but nothing too bad.) More of a comfort fic rather then a sad one, promise :D
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

It isn't often that she stumbles. At least, not around him anyway. She's the illustrious River Song, and he's her doctor. It is part of her nature that she beguiles him, keeps him constantly on his toes.

Never show him the damage. That's the number one rule that she's driven into herself over the years. Don't ever let him see how badly you're wounded.

And it's a guideline she's stuck to like glue. Almost as stringently as her 'Spoilers' rule. Though technically that wasn't just her rule.

But right now she can't breathe. Her insides are all twisted up and broken. A fragment of memory brought into sharp relief by some innocuous comment. A brief picture of a laughing face, a rich smell of vanilla as Amy leant in to share the joke. And the pain of their loss is new and fresh all over again.

The Doctor turns to her, his rambling speech abruptly halted and eyes sinfully deep. But she cannot process him right now. All that she can understand is that she's falling. And this time he cannot possibly catch her. He doesn't understand. He doesn't know what's lurking ahead.

He doesn't know about Manhattan.

She barely notices him reaching out. Instead she is trapped inside her head, staring at the other him. The one who had just lost them. the broken expression, the horrible painful noise that dropped from his lips and the way he curled around his knees like a giant five year old that's afraid of the dark. She remember wanting nothing more than to hold him through those moments. To offer comfort, to take him up on that desperate offer he gave her. But it hadn't been time yet. It wasn't her place to run alongside him in the Tardis. Not yet anyway. No matter how much she wanted to.

She feels like a statue. Unable to move, unable to speak, frozen right down to her core.

Suddenly his hands are on her face, framing her cheeks with warmth. His eyes filled with concern as he tried desperately to read what had happened in her eyes. She's brought hurtling back to the present, sucking in a sharp breath. It travelled through her, painfully inflating her lungs and making her heart beat, filling her skin with warmth again. Like Marble come to life.

His eyes pierce her, holding her where she was, "River? What is it?"

And that horrible old rule rears its ugly head and she tries to play everything off, pretend that she's okay.

"Nothing sweetie."

She purrs, the baritone thick and rich. But it was just a shade empty. The smile she gives him seems out of place. like it's painted on. And he can see right through it.

"River."

There's a hint of chastisement in his voice, as if he was calling her out on the fact she was lying to him.

"What happened River?"

She shrugs, "It's nothing. really."

Her mind screams at her, 'Hide the damage! hide the damage!'

His thumbs swipe under her eyes, and she is startled by how touching the gesture seemed. She wasn't crying, not yet, but it felt close.

"Please. Tell me."

He cajoles, his concern obvious. She wants nothing more than to sink into him, to sink into his warmth and forget everything else. to forget the dark days she'd experienced.

But she can't.

'Conceal. Don't feel. It would kill him to know.'

She cannot show him. Because that isn't who they are. that's not what they do. She is his comfort in an ever changing universe. The only one who can understand his pain. And only by being unharmed, appearing untouched by the things she's seen can she be that for him.

"Nothing Doctor, I'm alright."

She tries. And those wonderful eyes show the shard of sadness that cleaves him. A breaking in his hearts. Which is the last thing she ever wanted. Perhaps it is that which gives her the strength to smile at him, bringing her hands up to his, "now this takes me back."

Her tone is teasing. But it does not garner the same reaction as it usually does. To her surprise he pulls her closer so that his forehead can rest against hers. The gesture is a familiar one, and automatically her eyes fall closed.

"Oh my beautiful River."

His voice is soft, reverent. And it is that voice that almost breaks her. Her breath trembles and she fights so hard to keep herself composed.

"My wonderful brave River, I'm sorry."

He pulled back, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. His lips linger there for a moment before he returns his forehead to hers, and she wants to speak. But her witty tongue has failed her, she cannot utter a sound without fearing that doing so will break her apart in his arms.

Again his thumbs stroke across her cheeks, and he murmurs, "I am sorry that you feel like you have to hide this from me. That even though you can't tell me what has happened to you, that you cannot just seek comfort with me. I am so sorry for whatever I did to make you believe that was the only way."

His fingers tighten on her face, not painfully, but enough to make her aware of how much she's shaking. Her mind is screaming at her to hide this. to get herself back under control and pretend.

"My beautiful impossible wife. All the times we've danced together. All my firsts and your lasts."

He pulled back, prompting her to open her eyes, "I'm here. I'm here and I know you. let me help you."

She cannot stop it. The sincerity in his tone shatters whatever she was using to hold herself in check. Tears gathered like diamonds on her lashes. She manages to whisper to him, with some form of her old alluring tone, "Spoilers."

That pulled a laugh from him. but it was a sad laugh, "Then don't tell me. But let me be there for you. Just…tell me what you need."

Just this once, one day in a million days, she decides to be weak and lean into him.

"my doctor." she breathes.

"My river." And his tone is full of unspoken slightly possesive affection.

"Can you….just…"

She struggles to get the words out, everything in her screaming at her not to ask for help. But a faint smile touches his lips. He nods slowly, as if reading her mind, which she knows he can't. But damn it, sometimes he's just that good.

"Will you lie down with me River? For just a little while?"

And she wishes she could thank him. Wishes that she could express everything that those simple words meant to her. He'd given her the exit she needed.

All she can do is nod, a shade frantically, and with a smile he pulls her along.

* * *

_Authors note: Hello again :D I hope you guys enjoy this new little story with me :D another chapter should be coming soon, as long as life doesnt interfere again :)_

_As always, please let me know what you think, all reviews are appreciated :D_

_Ta ta for now_

_~Madam Red_


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

They move quickly through the halls of the Tardis. Even though she's been here, lived here, it's still a maze to her. a maze that only he seems to be able to navigate with any kind of success. It's his room that he takes her to. A room that looks hardly used, walls filled with books from a scattering of Eras and languages and planets. The only thing in there that at all appeared used was the armchair, which showed slight signs of wear. Timelords and their inexhaustible energy supply, something that she'd made great use of on other occasions.

Her attention however is drawn to the bed. It's a four poster masterpiece. Something she's always been fond of. They'd had a lot of fun on that bed. Though it would appear that most of those moments had not happened yet. And this would certainly be the first time that it would be used for something like this.

It seems odd to just lie down, and he senses her trouble.

He takes off his jacket and boots with a flourish, like a magician awaiting applause. It makes her chuckle, and the tension between them is broken. She takes off her own jacket, letting it fall beside his on the armchair. And peculiarly it feels as if she's just taken off a layer of armour. As if in just allowing herself this comfort, a burden was being lifted from her.

He turns to the bed, pulling back the brown and crimson covers before sliding amongst the pale sheets. She stares, and he offers her his hand, the same as he had a very long time ago. He wiggled his fingers, and she takes his hand, pulling her into the bed to lie alongside him.

It is surprisingly natural. None of the initial awkwardness of their earlier encounters, where they were still figuring out how to place the pieces of themselves alongside each other. It was natural to curl into his side, to rest her head on his chest. The dual heartbeats that echoed faintly beneath her ear soothed her, the tension draining from her in a flood of relaxed muscles. His arm curled around her side, holding her against him, as if she was thinking of running.

His fingers traced Gallifreyan on her side, and it takes her a moment to translate them

'Loved. Cherished. River Song.'

She smiles.

But tears still threaten on her lashes, and she cannot bear to start crying. But her body would not listen to her, tears leaking from her eyes. She wants to pull back, and he demonstrates for all that he acts like a child sometimes, he can be quite perceptive.

Bless him, he started to talk.

As if this was just a rest, as if she wasn't crying at all.

"have I ever told you about the star constellation of Terrendoar? It's amazing. Like a waterfall of stars. Vibrant blues and purples and colours there are no names for. Colours that can only be felt, can only be experienced."

Her hand undid a couple of the buttons on his shirt and slipped between the soft fabric, instinctively seeking out the warmth of his skin. She couldn't stop herself from crying, but she could ignore it. pretend that it wasn't happening. And he was helping her do that. Her fingertips traced idle patterns as he continued.

"If you get the right angle, you can actually see them start to cascade. Imagine it, a waterfall of colours that have no name in the darkness of space. Haven't seen it with these eyes yet, so I have to go."

Though he spoke, his hand didn't pause in his tracing. It made her feel warm.

'Cherished, protected, Love.'

"And then there's Avalon. Actually it's the seventh Avalon since the first one. But you'd be never believe it. The sky is green. Can you imagine? Not a milky green, but a proper green, like a football field. And the clouds are purple, and the grass!"

His exclamation makes her flinch in surprise and he relaxes, almost apologetically, before he continues, "It's orange. Not just the colour orange but the fruit orange. Actual blades of orange grass. You could eat them. not that I'd advise that. you never know what's happened on that grass. Could be…all kinds of strange things.

She cannot help but chuckle, and the sound made her feel a little lighter. A little less hollowed out. It cannot take away the pain. It cannot make what she's seen any better. But the possibility of such adventures, of such wonderful things helps her remember that nothing bad lasts forever. He keeps talking, crafting such wonderful visions in front of her eyes. and slowly she feels herself falling asleep, drifting into a world of adventures. Of places that she had yet to see, planets that they would dance across.

'Strong, impossible, beloved.'

His fingers trace on her side.

A timelord and his wife. Impossibly connected, but always together.

They never meet in the right order. But that's okay. For every dark moment she has to endure there are moments like this that make it worth it.

* * *

_Authors note: Come one guys, i know you're out there. please let me know what you think!_

_*Offers candy* Pretty please?_

_Anyway, that's it for this story. hope you guys liked it :)_


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